On Whores and Rakes
Or rakeback, more precisely. If you haven’t checked out World Poker Exchange yet, shame on you, or shame on your bankroll. There aren’t any cool referral codes, no goodies through the fine folks at PSO or PokerSavvy, no deposit bonuses of any kind, actually. So why bother, you ask? Well, I’m glad you asked, young whippersnapper!
There’s no rake.
No really, there’s no rake.
Actually, there is. All hands are raked normally, but you are refunded 100% of your rake on a weekly basis. That equals to ALL OF IT. Now I’m no poker genius, or even a Geek or Nerd, but I knows money. And 100% rakeback is quite possible the best deal going. You get paid to play, period. If you play 10 raked hands, you get back whatever rake you contribute. If you play 1000 raked hands, you get back more. I’ve put in a whopping 90 minutes at the $50 NL level so far, and I’m looking at $8 and change coming back. That’s a pretty decent chunk coming back home, so I’m pretty stoked about it. The paradigm has always been that the lowest limits are unbeatable because of bad play and rake; well one of those factors is now completely gone.
Yes, the traffic is low. Yes, the interface is less than stellar. No, I don’t really care, because I get back all of my rake, and the more that people hear about it and try it out, the more people will be on there playing rake-free, and the more fishies we’ll find. Right now the games are decent, at least from my super-limited sample size. I was able to be profitable, and that, coupled with 100% rakeback will keep me playing at least a part of my time there for the foreseeable future. And I owe Tripjax a shout out for telling me about it. Thanks, man.
And I’ve been trying out a bunch of new sites lately, what with bonus whoring through the nice folks at PokerSavvy (click the link on the right and we both come out winners!). I’ve finished my bonus requirements at Sun Poker, but will likely keep a little money there because they have a $40/month for 200 raked hands ongoing bonus, and the games were soft like butter. I finished my bonus requirements at 7 Sultans in one night, proving it to be pretty easy to clear, but I doubt I’ll keep a lot of money there because I kinda hated the interface and the deposit bonus is almost impossible to clear (something like 600 raked hands for $20 of bonus, no thanks). I’ve been donking around on Titan with the $10 they sent me for free, and if I can ever get any traction there I’ll probably withdraw pretty quickly because the interface is just sooooo bad.
So I’ve been of two minds on bonus whoring since I started playing the poker. One, deposit bonuses are good ways to pad the bankroll, as long as you’re a decent player to begin with. On the other hand, if you’re extremely profitable at PokerStars, why would you take time away from a site that’s making you a boatload of money to play on a site that has fewer fish and may not be as profitable? 100% rakeback aside, that’s a good point. Most of my play is on Stars or Full Tilt. I try Party every now and then, but I’m the only person in the world that can’t string together two winning sessions there, so I only venture into that fishpond occasionally.
I started this last round of bonus whoring because I wanted free Nevada Jacks chips. So I signed up for Pokershare, finished out my PSO bonus slightly ahead, and then dumped the site. Then I decided I wanted to use these bonus chances to get free money, so I signed onto Sun and 7 Sultans, to earn a $100 Party Poker gift certificate. Sun was very profitable, and I came close to breaking even at Sultans.
But the sweetest rakeback or bonus deal in the world won’t make up for a losing player. If I’m playing like rancid ass, it doesn’t matter if I’m getting hookers and blow delivered straight to my house for every 50 raked hands, I’m still gonna go broke. So that’s my only cautionary tale from my recent whoring around, you still have to play solid poker. No matter how many people have told you that the players on Titan are the stupidest players in the world (but they still kick my ass), if you’re not playing your best game, the deposit bonus isn’t going to help. If you’re lucky, really, really lucky, you’ll be able to use the deposit bonus to keep you even when you’re done clearing it. And that feels kinda like kissing your sister (or her donkey). It’ll get you through the night in a pinch, but it is not what you’re looking for on a good day.
That may have been pointless. Oh well, at least I got to talk about whores without needing a shot afterwards.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
Stoneleaf Continued
Stoneleaf – the last day
Yep, two whole days with no updates, but I’ve been in full theatre festival immersion, so not much in the way of blogging. Let’s play a little catch-up, shall we?
Friday night’s performance of Intim@te E-Pistles was great, Glenn has made a lot of improvements to the show since I saw it in a reading two years ago, and the cast has fantastic chemistry, so it was a helluva show. Small audience, about 16 people, but they were very appreciative, and I felt like it would give us some good word of mouth press, in addition to the posters and postcards we were passing out right and left.
Then on to the opening night gala at Windows on the Park, at Pack Square. What a blast! We had the Kat Williams Band returning from last year, and what a singer Kat is. Kristian, one of our actors, was the belle of the ball, shaking his sexy Latino booty all over the lawn/dance floor, much to the delight of several Stoneleaf donors. I jokingly told him that if I’d had a poster with me, I would have stapled it to his ass, since that’s where most eyes were focused for much of the night. I realized later that I wasn’t joking, and he passed out boatloads of postcards at the gala. Good marketing sometimes consists of having a hot guy with a Spanish accent passing out your press materials.
There was drinking. There was quite a bit of drinking. I had a couple, but Emily got absolutely plowed. Suzy and I told her on the walk back to the car that we knew she was drunk because she had stopped limping. Em had twisted her ankle loading up the van Wednesday night, so all the walking inherent in a trip to Asheville wasn’t working so well for her.
Saturday I had the greatest of intentions of getting up early and going to see a show at noon, but like so many great intentions, that went straight to hell. We rolled into downtown with enough time to drop Em at the Bebe and for Suzy and I to get our tickets to I am My Own Wife up at UNC-Asheville. Playmakers Repertory Company from Chapel Hill brought this show, which won the Tony and the Pulitzer a couple years ago, and it was absolutely fantastic!
It’s the story of Charlotta von Malsdorf (almost certainly misspelled, deal with it), a German transvestite who lived in Berlin from the 1930s until the late 20th century, and the tale of how she survived the occupation by both the Nazis and the Communists is absolutely stunning. She became a collector of artifacts from the 1890s, and at one point relocated an entire Berlin gay bar into her basement to save it from destruction. The guy playing Charlotta plays about 8 characters through the course of the play, and he was absolutely flawless. His characterizations were specific, crisp and his vocal work was distinct and clear. He managed several different accents and genders, and all his characters were fully fleshed out, not caricatures. An amazing production top to bottom.
At 8 that night our whole company (minus Suzy, who left to go home and take care of the pets) went to see our buddy Charlie in NC Stage Company’s production of Stones in his Pockets. It’s a 2-person show where the two actors portray the residents of a small Irish town that’s overrun by Hollywood types when a movie is being shot in their town. I described it to someone as “Irish Tuna, with a point.” There’s a lot of hysterical scenes, but also a very touching point in the show, as these two extras who are the focal point of the play pick themselves up by their bootstraps and move on to greatness (relatively speaking). Charlie and Scott Treadway were the two actors, and they’ve worked together several times (including last year’s Stoneleaf smash production of The Compleat Wrks. Of Wm. Shkspre (abridged)), so their chemistry is fantastic. Their comic timing is also great, and they handled the serious moments of the play extremely well. A great show, and a packed house to boot made for a great evening of theatre.
Sunday was a jammed day for our folks, with a show at noon and 8PM, then 5 hours to kill between. For me, my role this time ‘round was strictly producing, so once the checks were written and the introductions made, my work was done. So I crammed three different plays in two theatres into my day.
I started off at noon with War Bonds, by EbZB productions, a husband and wife touring company out of Raleigh. Honestly, I didn’t have a ton of interest in going to see a musical revue of songs from the 1940’s and letters home from soldiers from WWII, but David (the husband part) is a friend of mine and I wanted to support him.
Good call, me. It was absolutely charming, an alternately poignant and funny show looking into the lives of ordinary and extraordinary people during an extraordinary time in our nation’s history. One particularly telling moment was when David read a letter from Chester zum Brunnen, from Morehead City, NC, telling of the horrors he experienced liberating a Nazi concentration camp. David’s dad wrote that letter and was the inspiration for the show. It was a great piece, and I need to look into bringing in to Charlotte for a weekend run, I think it would do well.
Next up was ice cream at the Marble Slab Creamery with Glenn, Emily, Christy and Mykel. Christy was in The Vagina Monologues for me up here last year and she and Mykel had such a good time they planned their entire vacation around the festival this year, planning to see 18 of the 20 shows on offer this week! After ice cream, we went back to the NC Stage Theatre to see Elephant Sighs, a co-production of Greensboro’s Broach Theatre and Asheville’s Occassional Theatre Company.
It’s the story of a men’s club, and a new guy in town comes to join, and tries to figure out why he’s there and what the club is about. It’s a small play that asks big questions, and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Very well done, with a great performance by my friend Derek, whom I’ve met at NCTC and SETC conferences, but never had the chance to see him onstage before. That’s one of the things that’s great about this festival, the opportunity to see companies from all over the state without driving all over the stage. It’s such a fantastic concentration of talent, a must for any theatre lover in the area.
I also bumped into an old friend up here. Dan Kelly was in my senior directing project at Winthrop in 1994, and I haven’t seen him since then, until I noticed he was ushering at I am my Own Wife on Saturday! He and his wife were driving up from G-Vegas each day, volunteering for a shift, and then getting free theatre tickets in exchange. Not a bad deal to see free theatre! It was cool seeing Dan, and boy, did he marry up! I can’t remember his wife’s name, but she’s very pretty and very nice. Funny how a dozen years will change folks.
Last night I went back up the hill to UNCA to see Beautiful Thing by Raleigh Ensemble Players. Last year, REP brought Killer Joe, one of the most intense shows I’ve ever seen. This one was very well executed, but it’s a coming-of-age play about two British boys in the ‘80s realizing that they’re gay. And like so many issue-oriented plays, it just felt a little dated. It’s a very well crafted play, and was brilliantly acted, but the script just feels slow.
So I’ve seen 6 shows in three days, and I’m very re-energized about doing my own theatre work. I’m ready to get home and meet with Chris about the Tower Project, plan a season with Glenn and do some art again. I’m not interested in pointing lights for a show I could give two shits about, I’m not interested in being a gun slinging director-for-hire for any POS community theatre Neil Simon piece of drek that they’ll send me a check for, I’m ready to go back and do art that matters again.
It’s been a little while (almost a year since God’s Country) and I’m gearing back up. Not sure I’m ready to jump fully back into the fray of producing a full season, but I’m starting to be ready to produce something, but only on my terms, and only something that I can really get behind. That’s why the Tower Project is appealing, because it will be my art on my terms; with people I trust and care about, about things I care about. And that’s how I’ll change my world. How will you change yours?
Go see a show, especially if you’re going to be anywhere near Asheville next week. The festival runs through next Sunday and Suzy and I are gonna day-trip up next Saturday to see two or three shows. Lemme know if you’re interested, maybe we’ll see you up here.
Yep, two whole days with no updates, but I’ve been in full theatre festival immersion, so not much in the way of blogging. Let’s play a little catch-up, shall we?
Friday night’s performance of Intim@te E-Pistles was great, Glenn has made a lot of improvements to the show since I saw it in a reading two years ago, and the cast has fantastic chemistry, so it was a helluva show. Small audience, about 16 people, but they were very appreciative, and I felt like it would give us some good word of mouth press, in addition to the posters and postcards we were passing out right and left.
Then on to the opening night gala at Windows on the Park, at Pack Square. What a blast! We had the Kat Williams Band returning from last year, and what a singer Kat is. Kristian, one of our actors, was the belle of the ball, shaking his sexy Latino booty all over the lawn/dance floor, much to the delight of several Stoneleaf donors. I jokingly told him that if I’d had a poster with me, I would have stapled it to his ass, since that’s where most eyes were focused for much of the night. I realized later that I wasn’t joking, and he passed out boatloads of postcards at the gala. Good marketing sometimes consists of having a hot guy with a Spanish accent passing out your press materials.
There was drinking. There was quite a bit of drinking. I had a couple, but Emily got absolutely plowed. Suzy and I told her on the walk back to the car that we knew she was drunk because she had stopped limping. Em had twisted her ankle loading up the van Wednesday night, so all the walking inherent in a trip to Asheville wasn’t working so well for her.
Saturday I had the greatest of intentions of getting up early and going to see a show at noon, but like so many great intentions, that went straight to hell. We rolled into downtown with enough time to drop Em at the Bebe and for Suzy and I to get our tickets to I am My Own Wife up at UNC-Asheville. Playmakers Repertory Company from Chapel Hill brought this show, which won the Tony and the Pulitzer a couple years ago, and it was absolutely fantastic!
It’s the story of Charlotta von Malsdorf (almost certainly misspelled, deal with it), a German transvestite who lived in Berlin from the 1930s until the late 20th century, and the tale of how she survived the occupation by both the Nazis and the Communists is absolutely stunning. She became a collector of artifacts from the 1890s, and at one point relocated an entire Berlin gay bar into her basement to save it from destruction. The guy playing Charlotta plays about 8 characters through the course of the play, and he was absolutely flawless. His characterizations were specific, crisp and his vocal work was distinct and clear. He managed several different accents and genders, and all his characters were fully fleshed out, not caricatures. An amazing production top to bottom.
At 8 that night our whole company (minus Suzy, who left to go home and take care of the pets) went to see our buddy Charlie in NC Stage Company’s production of Stones in his Pockets. It’s a 2-person show where the two actors portray the residents of a small Irish town that’s overrun by Hollywood types when a movie is being shot in their town. I described it to someone as “Irish Tuna, with a point.” There’s a lot of hysterical scenes, but also a very touching point in the show, as these two extras who are the focal point of the play pick themselves up by their bootstraps and move on to greatness (relatively speaking). Charlie and Scott Treadway were the two actors, and they’ve worked together several times (including last year’s Stoneleaf smash production of The Compleat Wrks. Of Wm. Shkspre (abridged)), so their chemistry is fantastic. Their comic timing is also great, and they handled the serious moments of the play extremely well. A great show, and a packed house to boot made for a great evening of theatre.
Sunday was a jammed day for our folks, with a show at noon and 8PM, then 5 hours to kill between. For me, my role this time ‘round was strictly producing, so once the checks were written and the introductions made, my work was done. So I crammed three different plays in two theatres into my day.
I started off at noon with War Bonds, by EbZB productions, a husband and wife touring company out of Raleigh. Honestly, I didn’t have a ton of interest in going to see a musical revue of songs from the 1940’s and letters home from soldiers from WWII, but David (the husband part) is a friend of mine and I wanted to support him.
Good call, me. It was absolutely charming, an alternately poignant and funny show looking into the lives of ordinary and extraordinary people during an extraordinary time in our nation’s history. One particularly telling moment was when David read a letter from Chester zum Brunnen, from Morehead City, NC, telling of the horrors he experienced liberating a Nazi concentration camp. David’s dad wrote that letter and was the inspiration for the show. It was a great piece, and I need to look into bringing in to Charlotte for a weekend run, I think it would do well.
Next up was ice cream at the Marble Slab Creamery with Glenn, Emily, Christy and Mykel. Christy was in The Vagina Monologues for me up here last year and she and Mykel had such a good time they planned their entire vacation around the festival this year, planning to see 18 of the 20 shows on offer this week! After ice cream, we went back to the NC Stage Theatre to see Elephant Sighs, a co-production of Greensboro’s Broach Theatre and Asheville’s Occassional Theatre Company.
It’s the story of a men’s club, and a new guy in town comes to join, and tries to figure out why he’s there and what the club is about. It’s a small play that asks big questions, and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Very well done, with a great performance by my friend Derek, whom I’ve met at NCTC and SETC conferences, but never had the chance to see him onstage before. That’s one of the things that’s great about this festival, the opportunity to see companies from all over the state without driving all over the stage. It’s such a fantastic concentration of talent, a must for any theatre lover in the area.
I also bumped into an old friend up here. Dan Kelly was in my senior directing project at Winthrop in 1994, and I haven’t seen him since then, until I noticed he was ushering at I am my Own Wife on Saturday! He and his wife were driving up from G-Vegas each day, volunteering for a shift, and then getting free theatre tickets in exchange. Not a bad deal to see free theatre! It was cool seeing Dan, and boy, did he marry up! I can’t remember his wife’s name, but she’s very pretty and very nice. Funny how a dozen years will change folks.
Last night I went back up the hill to UNCA to see Beautiful Thing by Raleigh Ensemble Players. Last year, REP brought Killer Joe, one of the most intense shows I’ve ever seen. This one was very well executed, but it’s a coming-of-age play about two British boys in the ‘80s realizing that they’re gay. And like so many issue-oriented plays, it just felt a little dated. It’s a very well crafted play, and was brilliantly acted, but the script just feels slow.
So I’ve seen 6 shows in three days, and I’m very re-energized about doing my own theatre work. I’m ready to get home and meet with Chris about the Tower Project, plan a season with Glenn and do some art again. I’m not interested in pointing lights for a show I could give two shits about, I’m not interested in being a gun slinging director-for-hire for any POS community theatre Neil Simon piece of drek that they’ll send me a check for, I’m ready to go back and do art that matters again.
It’s been a little while (almost a year since God’s Country) and I’m gearing back up. Not sure I’m ready to jump fully back into the fray of producing a full season, but I’m starting to be ready to produce something, but only on my terms, and only something that I can really get behind. That’s why the Tower Project is appealing, because it will be my art on my terms; with people I trust and care about, about things I care about. And that’s how I’ll change my world. How will you change yours?
Go see a show, especially if you’re going to be anywhere near Asheville next week. The festival runs through next Sunday and Suzy and I are gonna day-trip up next Saturday to see two or three shows. Lemme know if you’re interested, maybe we’ll see you up here.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Stoneleaf Day 1
Fraught with peril is not exactly how I would usually describe a trip with our theatre group 2 ½ hours away to do five performances of our show at the Stoneleaf festival, but getting out of town yesterday proved challenging, to say the least. Last year, for Stoneleaf, we produced The Vagina Monologues, which required practically nothing and cast two of the three actresses locally, so we only had to bring one actress along for the ride.
This year, we decided to actually tour a full show, Intim@te E-pistles, written by Glenn, our artistic director. So we brought along 3 actors, a 7-foot sofa, a couple of doors, a couple of bookcases, and a pile of props. No big deal, right? Yeah, well. So I decided that a cargo van would be plenty to haul all our shit around, and if you’ve ever driven through downtown Asheville, you know that’s also about the biggest vehicle you can successfully navigate the streets with. Unfortunately, not all of our set would fit in the van. So we had to cut a set piece, and decided to build a door frame on site rather than try to carry two with us. Not a big deal, really, just a couple of 2x4s and a moulding set from Lowe’s.
Except Emily, our production manager manages to fall out of the van loading the couch and twist the ever-loving fuck out of her ankle. So loading the van Wednesday night was an adventure. Then Thursday morning we’re a whopping three hours late getting out of town for various reasons (SunCom sucks), and we have to reschedule to get someone to cover our light hang duties that afternoon. Fabulous.
SO Em & I finally get to Asheville several hours late and check into a surprisingly roach-free Best Western. When I booked the cheapest rooms I could find for this jaunt, I figured it was totally going to be one of those sleep on top of the covers fully dressed after wrapping the bed in Saran Wrap kind of lodging arrangements, but the Best Western Asheville West was actually clean and comfy, despite the circa 1972 Sunshine Yellow tile in the shitter.
Dinner at Applebee’s (yawn) and then back across the expanse of the parking lot (Applebee’s makes more sense, now, doesn’t it?) to play a little heads-up for $5 a match. And Emily owes me dinner for tonight. Glad to see there was someone I could beat yesterday. For the record, the people that play NL100 during business hours are tougher competition than the donks that play the same level after work/dinner hours.
I have a theory on why the Stars NL100 tables are actually softer than the NL50 tables. When you log into Stars and click on Low Limit Texas Hold ‘Em, the level at the top of the screen is NL100. You actually have to either rearrange the columns or scroll down to get to NL50. SO the newdonks, who don’t want to start of with “micro” cause they know how to play poker, and who want’s to admit to playing a “micro” table (except me), log in, click “Low” and find the first open seat, which is at the NL100 level. And it’s truly donkilicious.
And yesterday I was the live one. So for a couple of days I’ll scroll down halfway down the screen and play within my bankroll, before bumping back up to the big fishpond.
So today, like all good, highly-prepared theatre professionals, I’m sitting in Staples updating my blog while the nice copy center lady runs off programs for tonight’s performance. I would feel more like an idiot for this if I hadn’t heard from a little bird that the high mukey-mucks of one of the largest companies in NC had just left Staples right before I got here. Heh. Budget does not equal preparation.
More later, and the cool opening night gala runs tonight, so I’ll hit you back with updates tomorrow.
This year, we decided to actually tour a full show, Intim@te E-pistles, written by Glenn, our artistic director. So we brought along 3 actors, a 7-foot sofa, a couple of doors, a couple of bookcases, and a pile of props. No big deal, right? Yeah, well. So I decided that a cargo van would be plenty to haul all our shit around, and if you’ve ever driven through downtown Asheville, you know that’s also about the biggest vehicle you can successfully navigate the streets with. Unfortunately, not all of our set would fit in the van. So we had to cut a set piece, and decided to build a door frame on site rather than try to carry two with us. Not a big deal, really, just a couple of 2x4s and a moulding set from Lowe’s.
Except Emily, our production manager manages to fall out of the van loading the couch and twist the ever-loving fuck out of her ankle. So loading the van Wednesday night was an adventure. Then Thursday morning we’re a whopping three hours late getting out of town for various reasons (SunCom sucks), and we have to reschedule to get someone to cover our light hang duties that afternoon. Fabulous.
SO Em & I finally get to Asheville several hours late and check into a surprisingly roach-free Best Western. When I booked the cheapest rooms I could find for this jaunt, I figured it was totally going to be one of those sleep on top of the covers fully dressed after wrapping the bed in Saran Wrap kind of lodging arrangements, but the Best Western Asheville West was actually clean and comfy, despite the circa 1972 Sunshine Yellow tile in the shitter.
Dinner at Applebee’s (yawn) and then back across the expanse of the parking lot (Applebee’s makes more sense, now, doesn’t it?) to play a little heads-up for $5 a match. And Emily owes me dinner for tonight. Glad to see there was someone I could beat yesterday. For the record, the people that play NL100 during business hours are tougher competition than the donks that play the same level after work/dinner hours.
I have a theory on why the Stars NL100 tables are actually softer than the NL50 tables. When you log into Stars and click on Low Limit Texas Hold ‘Em, the level at the top of the screen is NL100. You actually have to either rearrange the columns or scroll down to get to NL50. SO the newdonks, who don’t want to start of with “micro” cause they know how to play poker, and who want’s to admit to playing a “micro” table (except me), log in, click “Low” and find the first open seat, which is at the NL100 level. And it’s truly donkilicious.
And yesterday I was the live one. So for a couple of days I’ll scroll down halfway down the screen and play within my bankroll, before bumping back up to the big fishpond.
So today, like all good, highly-prepared theatre professionals, I’m sitting in Staples updating my blog while the nice copy center lady runs off programs for tonight’s performance. I would feel more like an idiot for this if I hadn’t heard from a little bird that the high mukey-mucks of one of the largest companies in NC had just left Staples right before I got here. Heh. Budget does not equal preparation.
More later, and the cool opening night gala runs tonight, so I’ll hit you back with updates tomorrow.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Snowball fights in the seventh circle
I never thought I (or anyone else in America) would see MoveOn.org and the Christian Coalition band together on an issue. Well, it's frozen over, cause here's the link. This is a joint ad to run this weekend in the NY Times sponsored by MoveOn.org and the Christian Coalition. If that doesn't drive home the point of how friggin' important net neutrality is, nothing ever will. Please visit www.moveon.org and contact your congressperson today about this issue.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
For the Big Guy
So when I walked up onto Otis’ perfectly manicured lawn last summer, anxious about my first meeting with the people whose writing I read every day (workplace productivity at an all-time low), the first person I recognized out of the crowd milling around the bar was Al. I probably could have figured out who he was even blind as Helen Keller, listening for the dulcet sounds of Soco splashing into Solo cups, and some hippy bellowing for “double!” I found Al to be surprisingly charming, given his wild-ass writing style, and perfectly balanced by the uber-mellow exuded by his wheelman, BigMike.
Over the course of that day and night and the winter blogger gathering in Vegas, I got to spend more times with the mountain of cool that is BigMike, and have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know the man. Not many other bloggers (and I use the term loosely, since I think he still holds the record for most comments on a non-post) would have their telephone even turned on at 4AM, much less answer it, crawl out of bed for a dial-a-shot and then sing a rousing chorus of Jo-an-a-da along with me, Iggy, Grubby and Maudie. BigMike is simply put, one of the coolest, most generous, kindhearted souls I’ve ever met. He’s a voluminous drinker, an enabler of drunkenness in others, a generous giver to those in need, and far, far, overeducated for the company he routinely keeps (just kidding, Al).
And today, he needs your thoughts and prayers. BigMike lost his mother last night, and I can’t even really imagine what that’s like. Al will have more details soon, go there to read about arrangements. It’s been a really rough year for so many of us, and this is the latest in a string of tough beats my friends, their colons and I have endured. So think of the big guy when you say your prayers tonight. And hug somebody, because we’re all seeing hard lessons this year about living in the moment and telling people you care about that they matter to you.
Over the course of that day and night and the winter blogger gathering in Vegas, I got to spend more times with the mountain of cool that is BigMike, and have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know the man. Not many other bloggers (and I use the term loosely, since I think he still holds the record for most comments on a non-post) would have their telephone even turned on at 4AM, much less answer it, crawl out of bed for a dial-a-shot and then sing a rousing chorus of Jo-an-a-da along with me, Iggy, Grubby and Maudie. BigMike is simply put, one of the coolest, most generous, kindhearted souls I’ve ever met. He’s a voluminous drinker, an enabler of drunkenness in others, a generous giver to those in need, and far, far, overeducated for the company he routinely keeps (just kidding, Al).
And today, he needs your thoughts and prayers. BigMike lost his mother last night, and I can’t even really imagine what that’s like. Al will have more details soon, go there to read about arrangements. It’s been a really rough year for so many of us, and this is the latest in a string of tough beats my friends, their colons and I have endured. So think of the big guy when you say your prayers tonight. And hug somebody, because we’re all seeing hard lessons this year about living in the moment and telling people you care about that they matter to you.
Hand History Warning
Sometimes you really do have to make the wrong move at the right time. I think I’ll change my name to Hoyt.
PokerStars Game #5035117501: Hold'em No Limit ($0.25/$0.50) - 2006/05/24 - 01:05:02 (ET)
Table 'Aldebaran' 9-max Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: pokerlarry ($61.45 in chips)
Seat 2: MossSauce ($13.25 in chips)
Seat 3: davisjj627 ($54.85 in chips)
Seat 4: the3bigO ($65.85 in chips)
Seat 5: Soply ($65.50 in chips)
Seat 6: Jhartness ($43 in chips)
Seat 7: JRDOE ($6.60 in chips)
Seat 8: kengineer ($18.50 in chips)
Seat 9: B.Perrone ($49.25 in chips)
kengineer: posts small blind $0.25
B.Perrone: posts big blind $0.50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Jhartness [8s Ts]
pokerlarry: calls $0.50
MossSauce: folds
davisjj627: calls $0.50
the3bigO: folds
MossSauce leaves the table
Soply: folds
Jhartness: raises $1.50 to $2
JRDOE: folds
kengineer: raises $3 to $5
B.Perrone: folds
Still.iLL joins the table at seat #2
pokerlarry: calls $4.50
davisjj627: folds
Jhartness: calls $3
*** FLOP *** [Js 9d 9s]
kengineer: bets $5
pokerlarry: calls $5
Jhartness: calls $5
*** TURN *** [Js 9d 9s] [6h]
kengineer: bets $8.50 and is all-in
pokerlarry: raises $9.50 to $18
Jhartness: calls $18
*** RIVER *** [Js 9d 9s 6h] [Qs]
pokerlarry: bets $15
Jhartness: calls $15 and is all-in
*** SHOW DOWN ***
pokerlarry: shows [Ad Ah] (two pair, Aces and Nines)
Jhartness: shows [8s Ts] (a straight flush, Eight to Queen)
Jhartness collected $48.75 from side pot
kengineer: shows [Qc Qh] (a full house, Queens full of Nines)
Jhartness collected $53.75 from main pot
kengineer said, "nh"
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $105.50 Main pot $53.75. Side pot $48.75. | Rake $3
Board [Js 9d 9s 6h Qs]
Seat 1: pokerlarry showed [Ad Ah] and lost with two pair, Aces and Nines
Seat 2: MossSauce folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: davisjj627 folded before Flop
Seat 4: the3bigO folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Soply folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Jhartness showed [8s Ts] and won ($102.50) with a straight flush, Eight to Queen
Seat 7: JRDOE (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: kengineer (small blind) showed [Qc Qh] and lost with a full house, Queens full of Nines
Seat 9: B.Perrone (big blind) folded before Flop
And then:
PokerStars Game #5035161269: Hold'em No Limit ($0.25/$0.50) - 2006/05/24 - 01:10:05 (ET)
Table 'Aldebaran' 9-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: pokerlarry ($49.75 in chips)
Seat 2: Still.iLL ($50.20 in chips)
Seat 3: davisjj627 ($54.35 in chips)
Seat 4: the3bigO ($64.85 in chips)
Seat 5: Soply ($65 in chips)
Seat 6: Jhartness ($103.45 in chips)
Seat 7: JRDOE ($7.35 in chips)
Seat 9: B.Perrone ($48.75 in chips)
Soply: posts small blind $0.25
Jhartness: posts big blind $0.50
pmaverick: sits out
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Jhartness [2s 2c]
JRDOE: folds
B.Perrone: folds
pokerlarry: folds
Still.iLL: calls $0.50
davisjj627: folds
the3bigO: folds
Soply: calls $0.25
Jhartness: checks
*** FLOP *** [Qd Tc 2d]
Soply: checks
Jhartness: bets $1.50
Still.iLL: raises $2.50 to $4
Soply: folds
Jhartness: raises $6 to $10
Still.iLL: raises $39.70 to $49.70 and is all-in
Jhartness said, "this could hurt"
Jhartness: calls $39.70
*** TURN *** [Qd Tc 2d] [3c]
*** RIVER *** [Qd Tc 2d 3c] [2h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Jhartness: shows [2s 2c] (four of a kind, Deuces)
Still.iLL: shows [Th Ts] (a full house, Tens full of Deuces)
Jhartness collected $97.90 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $100.90 | Rake $3
Board [Qd Tc 2d 3c 2h]
Seat 1: pokerlarry folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Still.iLL showed [Th Ts] and lost with a full house, Tens full of Deuces
Seat 3: davisjj627 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: the3bigO (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Soply (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 6: Jhartness (big blind) showed [2s 2c] and won ($97.90) with four of a kind, Deuces
Seat 7: JRDOE folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: B.Perrone folded before Flop (didn't bet)
I didn’t type TQB in the chat box, I was afraid he might find a way to kill me.
PokerStars Game #5035117501: Hold'em No Limit ($0.25/$0.50) - 2006/05/24 - 01:05:02 (ET)
Table 'Aldebaran' 9-max Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: pokerlarry ($61.45 in chips)
Seat 2: MossSauce ($13.25 in chips)
Seat 3: davisjj627 ($54.85 in chips)
Seat 4: the3bigO ($65.85 in chips)
Seat 5: Soply ($65.50 in chips)
Seat 6: Jhartness ($43 in chips)
Seat 7: JRDOE ($6.60 in chips)
Seat 8: kengineer ($18.50 in chips)
Seat 9: B.Perrone ($49.25 in chips)
kengineer: posts small blind $0.25
B.Perrone: posts big blind $0.50
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Jhartness [8s Ts]
pokerlarry: calls $0.50
MossSauce: folds
davisjj627: calls $0.50
the3bigO: folds
MossSauce leaves the table
Soply: folds
Jhartness: raises $1.50 to $2
JRDOE: folds
kengineer: raises $3 to $5
B.Perrone: folds
Still.iLL joins the table at seat #2
pokerlarry: calls $4.50
davisjj627: folds
Jhartness: calls $3
*** FLOP *** [Js 9d 9s]
kengineer: bets $5
pokerlarry: calls $5
Jhartness: calls $5
*** TURN *** [Js 9d 9s] [6h]
kengineer: bets $8.50 and is all-in
pokerlarry: raises $9.50 to $18
Jhartness: calls $18
*** RIVER *** [Js 9d 9s 6h] [Qs]
pokerlarry: bets $15
Jhartness: calls $15 and is all-in
*** SHOW DOWN ***
pokerlarry: shows [Ad Ah] (two pair, Aces and Nines)
Jhartness: shows [8s Ts] (a straight flush, Eight to Queen)
Jhartness collected $48.75 from side pot
kengineer: shows [Qc Qh] (a full house, Queens full of Nines)
Jhartness collected $53.75 from main pot
kengineer said, "nh"
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $105.50 Main pot $53.75. Side pot $48.75. | Rake $3
Board [Js 9d 9s 6h Qs]
Seat 1: pokerlarry showed [Ad Ah] and lost with two pair, Aces and Nines
Seat 2: MossSauce folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: davisjj627 folded before Flop
Seat 4: the3bigO folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Soply folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 6: Jhartness showed [8s Ts] and won ($102.50) with a straight flush, Eight to Queen
Seat 7: JRDOE (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: kengineer (small blind) showed [Qc Qh] and lost with a full house, Queens full of Nines
Seat 9: B.Perrone (big blind) folded before Flop
And then:
PokerStars Game #5035161269: Hold'em No Limit ($0.25/$0.50) - 2006/05/24 - 01:10:05 (ET)
Table 'Aldebaran' 9-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: pokerlarry ($49.75 in chips)
Seat 2: Still.iLL ($50.20 in chips)
Seat 3: davisjj627 ($54.35 in chips)
Seat 4: the3bigO ($64.85 in chips)
Seat 5: Soply ($65 in chips)
Seat 6: Jhartness ($103.45 in chips)
Seat 7: JRDOE ($7.35 in chips)
Seat 9: B.Perrone ($48.75 in chips)
Soply: posts small blind $0.25
Jhartness: posts big blind $0.50
pmaverick: sits out
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Jhartness [2s 2c]
JRDOE: folds
B.Perrone: folds
pokerlarry: folds
Still.iLL: calls $0.50
davisjj627: folds
the3bigO: folds
Soply: calls $0.25
Jhartness: checks
*** FLOP *** [Qd Tc 2d]
Soply: checks
Jhartness: bets $1.50
Still.iLL: raises $2.50 to $4
Soply: folds
Jhartness: raises $6 to $10
Still.iLL: raises $39.70 to $49.70 and is all-in
Jhartness said, "this could hurt"
Jhartness: calls $39.70
*** TURN *** [Qd Tc 2d] [3c]
*** RIVER *** [Qd Tc 2d 3c] [2h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Jhartness: shows [2s 2c] (four of a kind, Deuces)
Still.iLL: shows [Th Ts] (a full house, Tens full of Deuces)
Jhartness collected $97.90 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $100.90 | Rake $3
Board [Qd Tc 2d 3c 2h]
Seat 1: pokerlarry folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Still.iLL showed [Th Ts] and lost with a full house, Tens full of Deuces
Seat 3: davisjj627 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: the3bigO (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Soply (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 6: Jhartness (big blind) showed [2s 2c] and won ($97.90) with four of a kind, Deuces
Seat 7: JRDOE folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: B.Perrone folded before Flop (didn't bet)
I didn’t type TQB in the chat box, I was afraid he might find a way to kill me.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
It's that time of year again! Woo-Hoo!
I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!
This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.
Registration code: 7330476
Monday, May 22, 2006
Monday, Monday
Back to work for most of the day, icepick has been removed from le gut (that’s French, you know). Still sore and not managing to sleep terribly well, but I got through half a day of work. I have fuzzy recollections from Friday night’s home game, likely due to drugs. Hell, totally due to drugs.
I broke even, even after reaching back into my pocket a couple times. The new chips were a moderate success, although the pink and orange Nevada Jacks do look a little too similar. But here’s a great success story for you – customer service isn’t dead after all! Saturday morning as I’m cleaning up after the game, I noticed a couple of problems with some of my chips, so I emailed NJ support, expecting not much since I did get them as a signup bonus, after all.
Well, Kim from customer support took care of my little issues promptly and is sending me out replacement chips for the ones that are screwed up, with no arguments! What a great company. I really recommend dealing with them for your next chip acquisition. Which, if it’s coming soon, should probably happen through Poker Source Online. They’ve got a deal through the end of the month for new PokerRoom.com signups to get a free set of CUSTOM Nevada Jacks! So go visit, and show some love to bonus code FALSTAFF while you’re at it.
I’ve been on an absolutely sick run at the NL50 tables this weekend, pushing the online roll well into uncharted territory. That’s right folks, 4 Figures. This is definitely my biggest month since taking down the Stars tourney last year, and that’s with only 4 tourneys played total, and none cashed. All ring games, all the time has been my mantra, and it’s been paying off. And the fine folks at Sun Poker were prompt with their bonus payout, now let’s see about cashing out a little profit from there.
So I think I can actually for the first time play at my levels (NL50 2-table or NL100 1-table) without being ridiculously underfunded. I’m putting a hair less than 10% of my bankroll on the table any time I sit down at 2 tables of NL50, or 1 table of NL100. Is that fairly safe? I feel like I can drop a couple buy-ins without having to move down in levels at this point. And not that I’m in any rush, but when should I look at moving up? When a single buy-in at NL100 equals 5% of my roll?
Leave advice in comments, I’m gonna go read DoubleAs BR post from last week and see if I’m too wrong-headed.
And my deepest condolences to G-Rob and Otis, who lost a good friend this weekend. My heart goes out to those boys.
I broke even, even after reaching back into my pocket a couple times. The new chips were a moderate success, although the pink and orange Nevada Jacks do look a little too similar. But here’s a great success story for you – customer service isn’t dead after all! Saturday morning as I’m cleaning up after the game, I noticed a couple of problems with some of my chips, so I emailed NJ support, expecting not much since I did get them as a signup bonus, after all.
Well, Kim from customer support took care of my little issues promptly and is sending me out replacement chips for the ones that are screwed up, with no arguments! What a great company. I really recommend dealing with them for your next chip acquisition. Which, if it’s coming soon, should probably happen through Poker Source Online. They’ve got a deal through the end of the month for new PokerRoom.com signups to get a free set of CUSTOM Nevada Jacks! So go visit, and show some love to bonus code FALSTAFF while you’re at it.
I’ve been on an absolutely sick run at the NL50 tables this weekend, pushing the online roll well into uncharted territory. That’s right folks, 4 Figures. This is definitely my biggest month since taking down the Stars tourney last year, and that’s with only 4 tourneys played total, and none cashed. All ring games, all the time has been my mantra, and it’s been paying off. And the fine folks at Sun Poker were prompt with their bonus payout, now let’s see about cashing out a little profit from there.
So I think I can actually for the first time play at my levels (NL50 2-table or NL100 1-table) without being ridiculously underfunded. I’m putting a hair less than 10% of my bankroll on the table any time I sit down at 2 tables of NL50, or 1 table of NL100. Is that fairly safe? I feel like I can drop a couple buy-ins without having to move down in levels at this point. And not that I’m in any rush, but when should I look at moving up? When a single buy-in at NL100 equals 5% of my roll?
Leave advice in comments, I’m gonna go read DoubleAs BR post from last week and see if I’m too wrong-headed.
And my deepest condolences to G-Rob and Otis, who lost a good friend this weekend. My heart goes out to those boys.
Friday, May 19, 2006
It wasn't gas
appendagitis (ap·pen·da·gi·tis) (ə-pen”də-ji´tis) inflammation of an appendage, particularly of the epiploic appendages. epiploic a. inflammation of one or more of the epiploic appendages of the colon, characterized by pain and tenderness over the affected area.
In English, it’s the inflammation of a fatty pocket that is attached to the colon. In practice, it’s 7 hours in the emergency room, a CT scan of my most impressive body part (unfortunately, my gut), injection of iodine dye into my left arm after failing miserably to find a vein in my right hand (proving that I would make a terrible smack junkie, crossing off one of the careers that a degree in acting left me perfectly trained for), ingestion of a half-gallon of some type of lemonade-flavored contrast solution, two courses of antibiotics, and a bottle of hydrocodone that I’m thoroughly enjoying.
I thought it was gas. I was on the road Wednesday, and had a late lunch, which always leaves me a little pooty. I think I even remarked in the girly chat thing that my Applebee’s had left my gassy. I was a little confused when my gut still hurt Thursday morning, but figured maybe I had a fart stuck somewhere and once I got to moving along, I’d pass a good three-octave window-rattler and I’d be fine.
When I stood up after lunch and almost fell down from the pain I figured it might be something a little more serious. Given the location of the pain (left side, right along the beltline), I thought maybe a hernia. That didn’t make much sense, since the heaviest thing I lift on a regular basis is my ass, but stranger things have happened I suppose. So I call my doctor.
“I’m sorry, we don’t have any doctors in the office this afternoon.”
Huh? It’s 1:15 on a Thursday, and the Wachovia Championship was two weeks ago, so I can’t imagine what important golf outing has them tied up. Not to mention the fact that my doctor is spherical in shape, which always makes me laugh when she tells me I’m overweight. She doesn’t see the humor. Odd.
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“You can go to urgent care or to the emergency room.”
I wasn’t really looking forward to the concept of the emergency room, as I didn’t want to hang with the dregs and the near-dead, so I trundled my sore ass (gut, actually) off to the urgent care facility in the yuppie part of town. They were very helpful, telling me that to diagnose severe abdominal pain it would require either an ultrasound or a CT scan, neither of which they could perform. So I should go to the emergency room. Well, fuck.
So I do, and am immediately triaged and put into the queue, leading to a three-hour wait while I watch some Mexican construction worker with a scratch on his forehead some in after me and get seen before me, a 923-year-old woman almost wet herself waiting for her ride back to the nursing home before she can convince someone to take her to the pisser, Gilbert Grape’s mother trundle in riding an overworked wheelchair with a trashcan in her lap for more convenient puking telling everyone that she’s suicidal and thinks she’s OD’d on her Xanax. This doesn’t make sense to me, since if you OD on your antidepressant shouldn’t you just be annoyingly perky? But who am I to question the collected wisdom of what is obviously 8 generations of trailer park education?
Then there was Tracy. I call her this because she looked a little like Tracy Chapman after a 9-year dessert bender, and to refer to her with anything resembling Buckwheat references would probably be deemed racist, regardless of the fact that she really did look like what happens when Buckwheat’s kid sister grows up, and in a greater case, grows outward. Tracy walked up to the check-in station, picked up a pen to sign in at the desk, and immediately passed out sideways in a building-jarring thump (and kind of a wet slapping sound, like a 200-lb uncooked pork tenderloin hitting the tile) leaving one Wal-Mart sandal looking forlorn in front of the check-in station.
I leaned over to Suzy and said “I think I just got bumped one spot down in the treatment line.”
After three hours of watching the very old, the very underinsured and the egregiously stupid traipse through the ER, it was my turn. Went back, put on my little gown (which they do apparently make in size Xfatass), and laid down on the less-than-comfortable stretcher. I had the foresight to bring a book, having spent far more of 2006 in a hospital than I care for, and Suzy was there for chat and to serve as my remote control.
I caught part of Sportscenter, and then Dr. Fratboy was in to see me. Dr. Rollin Fuller, MD was a very nice guy who with a first name like Rollin either got the shit beat out of him a lot in 8th grade, or tried out with for the lacrosse team to meet chicks. Yeah, I
know, inappropriate, but I was channeling Bobby for a sec.
So Dr. Fuller thought it might be diverticulitis, based on the position of the pain, and scheduled a CT scan. So then cute Nurse Lisa came in to try (and fail miserably, thus ending my dreams of ever being as slim as Kate Moss) to find an easy vein in my right arm, then the left. We got the IV going, I got a shot of happy juice, and then it was more Sportscenter until my ride down to Radiology. We got in line behind a hi-tech bed with three drivers, a hanging bag of clear shit, green shit and brown shit, all dripping into Methuselah’s grandma. I told Ashando, my chauffer that she could go first, looked like she was a little more fucked up than me.
Watched NFL Live in the hallway waiting for the scan, thus making it official that I’ve watched more broadcast TV in hospitals in 2006 than I have in my own home. Then I got in the tube, got zapped, went back to the holding cell, and watched Law & Order:SVU. About 15 minutes into Criminal Intent Dr. Frat boy came back and told me what the deal was, gave me a note to be out of work for two days, and sent me packing. I gave the nice cashier lady my Visa for the copay, and hobbled my gutshot ass out to the Cruiser to go home. Hiding the “no fried, no meat, no spicy” Dr’s instructions from Suzy, I sent her ahead in her car to pick up Lone Star BBQ chicken for dinner, and we watched Battlestar Galactica until time for sleep.
And since this is a poker blog, not a busted gut blog, my Nevada Jacks chips that I got from PSO came in yesterday before I left work for the ER. I took the $99 upgrade from 300 chip standard set to a 500 chip customizable set, so we’ll try those out at tonight’s homegame. Hey, I might be high on Vicodin with an ice pick in my gut, but my priorities are still perfectly in order. And I missed the jackpot hand at Stars this afternoon by less than 50 hands. Bastards.
In English, it’s the inflammation of a fatty pocket that is attached to the colon. In practice, it’s 7 hours in the emergency room, a CT scan of my most impressive body part (unfortunately, my gut), injection of iodine dye into my left arm after failing miserably to find a vein in my right hand (proving that I would make a terrible smack junkie, crossing off one of the careers that a degree in acting left me perfectly trained for), ingestion of a half-gallon of some type of lemonade-flavored contrast solution, two courses of antibiotics, and a bottle of hydrocodone that I’m thoroughly enjoying.
I thought it was gas. I was on the road Wednesday, and had a late lunch, which always leaves me a little pooty. I think I even remarked in the girly chat thing that my Applebee’s had left my gassy. I was a little confused when my gut still hurt Thursday morning, but figured maybe I had a fart stuck somewhere and once I got to moving along, I’d pass a good three-octave window-rattler and I’d be fine.
When I stood up after lunch and almost fell down from the pain I figured it might be something a little more serious. Given the location of the pain (left side, right along the beltline), I thought maybe a hernia. That didn’t make much sense, since the heaviest thing I lift on a regular basis is my ass, but stranger things have happened I suppose. So I call my doctor.
“I’m sorry, we don’t have any doctors in the office this afternoon.”
Huh? It’s 1:15 on a Thursday, and the Wachovia Championship was two weeks ago, so I can’t imagine what important golf outing has them tied up. Not to mention the fact that my doctor is spherical in shape, which always makes me laugh when she tells me I’m overweight. She doesn’t see the humor. Odd.
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“You can go to urgent care or to the emergency room.”
I wasn’t really looking forward to the concept of the emergency room, as I didn’t want to hang with the dregs and the near-dead, so I trundled my sore ass (gut, actually) off to the urgent care facility in the yuppie part of town. They were very helpful, telling me that to diagnose severe abdominal pain it would require either an ultrasound or a CT scan, neither of which they could perform. So I should go to the emergency room. Well, fuck.
So I do, and am immediately triaged and put into the queue, leading to a three-hour wait while I watch some Mexican construction worker with a scratch on his forehead some in after me and get seen before me, a 923-year-old woman almost wet herself waiting for her ride back to the nursing home before she can convince someone to take her to the pisser, Gilbert Grape’s mother trundle in riding an overworked wheelchair with a trashcan in her lap for more convenient puking telling everyone that she’s suicidal and thinks she’s OD’d on her Xanax. This doesn’t make sense to me, since if you OD on your antidepressant shouldn’t you just be annoyingly perky? But who am I to question the collected wisdom of what is obviously 8 generations of trailer park education?
Then there was Tracy. I call her this because she looked a little like Tracy Chapman after a 9-year dessert bender, and to refer to her with anything resembling Buckwheat references would probably be deemed racist, regardless of the fact that she really did look like what happens when Buckwheat’s kid sister grows up, and in a greater case, grows outward. Tracy walked up to the check-in station, picked up a pen to sign in at the desk, and immediately passed out sideways in a building-jarring thump (and kind of a wet slapping sound, like a 200-lb uncooked pork tenderloin hitting the tile) leaving one Wal-Mart sandal looking forlorn in front of the check-in station.
I leaned over to Suzy and said “I think I just got bumped one spot down in the treatment line.”
After three hours of watching the very old, the very underinsured and the egregiously stupid traipse through the ER, it was my turn. Went back, put on my little gown (which they do apparently make in size Xfatass), and laid down on the less-than-comfortable stretcher. I had the foresight to bring a book, having spent far more of 2006 in a hospital than I care for, and Suzy was there for chat and to serve as my remote control.
I caught part of Sportscenter, and then Dr. Fratboy was in to see me. Dr. Rollin Fuller, MD was a very nice guy who with a first name like Rollin either got the shit beat out of him a lot in 8th grade, or tried out with for the lacrosse team to meet chicks. Yeah, I
know, inappropriate, but I was channeling Bobby for a sec.
So Dr. Fuller thought it might be diverticulitis, based on the position of the pain, and scheduled a CT scan. So then cute Nurse Lisa came in to try (and fail miserably, thus ending my dreams of ever being as slim as Kate Moss) to find an easy vein in my right arm, then the left. We got the IV going, I got a shot of happy juice, and then it was more Sportscenter until my ride down to Radiology. We got in line behind a hi-tech bed with three drivers, a hanging bag of clear shit, green shit and brown shit, all dripping into Methuselah’s grandma. I told Ashando, my chauffer that she could go first, looked like she was a little more fucked up than me.
Watched NFL Live in the hallway waiting for the scan, thus making it official that I’ve watched more broadcast TV in hospitals in 2006 than I have in my own home. Then I got in the tube, got zapped, went back to the holding cell, and watched Law & Order:SVU. About 15 minutes into Criminal Intent Dr. Frat boy came back and told me what the deal was, gave me a note to be out of work for two days, and sent me packing. I gave the nice cashier lady my Visa for the copay, and hobbled my gutshot ass out to the Cruiser to go home. Hiding the “no fried, no meat, no spicy” Dr’s instructions from Suzy, I sent her ahead in her car to pick up Lone Star BBQ chicken for dinner, and we watched Battlestar Galactica until time for sleep.
And since this is a poker blog, not a busted gut blog, my Nevada Jacks chips that I got from PSO came in yesterday before I left work for the ER. I took the $99 upgrade from 300 chip standard set to a 500 chip customizable set, so we’ll try those out at tonight’s homegame. Hey, I might be high on Vicodin with an ice pick in my gut, but my priorities are still perfectly in order. And I missed the jackpot hand at Stars this afternoon by less than 50 hands. Bastards.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Q&A
TripJax posted a list of cool questions. He’s got questions, I’ve got answers. They’re dumb, but they’re answers. Musical tip of the day – Sam Bush has a new album coming out 6/13. Preorder at Sugar Hill’s website for a signed copy. Me, I’ll get it on iTunes.
And hey, does anybody wanna play my seat in the Absolute freeroll this Saturday night? I've got a live game and can't be there.
1. What is the biggest mistake people make at a NL table? Pushing too much. I find a lot of people down at the depths of low limits where I play that are willing to push with 2nd pair, Top pair, bad kicker, things like that. It may stem from impatience, but the mistake is the overuse of the all-in move.2. What is the biggest mistake people make at a Limit table? The one I’m the most guilty of is the call “just one more bet” when I think/know I’m behind.3. Why do you play poker? I’m a competitive person, and poker allows me to blend a couple of my favorite things together, competitive endeavors and sitting on my fat ass. How can it get any better?4. If you weren't playing poker, what would you be doing? Producing more theatre, writing a lot less, having not even the hope of profitability, and playing more Neverwinter Nights.5. What is your favorite poker book and why? Harrington on Hold ‘Em opened my eyes to a lot of ideas about tournament poker, but I think overall Phil Gordon’s Little Green Book has been the most beneficial.6. Who is your favorite poker player and why? Gavin Smith, ‘cause he’s come out for bloggerdom’s current favorite charity so strongly. Barry Greenstein and Marcel Luske will always have a special place for me for taking time out of the WSOP last year to call Charlie Tuttle, Spaceman’s friend who was dying of cancer. That takes a special person, and being a good human being is far more important than pushing a pile of chips around.7. Which poker player do you dislike the most and why? I used to say the obvious answer of Phil Hellmuth, but that’s kinda changing too, for the same reasons that I like the other guys. I guess I’d say the donk that hit a 2-outer to fet me last weekend.8. Do your coworkers know about your blog? Some do, some play in my home game. Upper management does not. Let’s keep it that way. 9. What is the most you have won in a cash game or MTT (both live and online)? Live was the BBSOP win this January, around $400. Online I won a $5 MTT on Stars last year for about $1300. 10. What is the most you have lost in a cash game or in one day total (both live and online)? $300 in about 90 minutes at the IP last December. That hurt. I was losing 100 BB/hr. Nice.11. Who was your first poker blog read? Hdouble had a post linking a bunch of blogs, and that stayed bookmarked for a long time. Linda and Iggy were the first ones I read daily, and Iggy’s was the first (and I think only) one that I have gone back and read all the archives to.12. What satisfies you more, your aces holding up for a big pot or a bluff working for a big pot? The bluff. It’s easy to win with aces, it’s hard to push three lemurs off a pot at 2/4 limit with air.13. Why do you blog? I always wanted to be a writer, now I are one. It’s the same creative outlet that used to be fulfilled through theatre, now is fulfilled through writing, both here, and at Truckin’, and at Pokerworks.com. 14. Do you read blogs from an RSS reader like bloglines or do you visit each blog? It varies. Most of the blogs I read daily I go through bloglines, but then I usually follow links from those to other sites, or use Up for Poker as a secondary bloglines listing. 15. Would you rather play poker for a living than do what you currently do for a living? I don’t think so. I love playing poker, but I don’t think I’d love it if it were a job. I like my job a lot. It’s still a job, and sometimes is still a grind to get out of bed and come into the office, but I think a lot of my enjoyment of poker would be gone if it were my job.16. Do you wear a tin foil hat on occasion? Yes, but I’m not telling you where. And never at the same time as the kilt. 17. If you had to pin it down to one specific trait, what does a great poker player have (or do) that separates them from an average player? Mojo. It’s an undefinable trait, we frequently refer to it as “getting it,” and you can never explain what that means, but you can always tell who has it and who doesn’t. 18. Is Drizz the coolest person on the planet for naming his baby Vegas? Second only to myself, of course. 19. What is your primary poker goal and are you close to accomplishing it? Play a WSOP event, and I’m doing it in July. Also, to be able to supplement my income to a point where I can cash out frequently and spend that money on trips with the wifey, cool toys for the house, shiz like that. Not anywhere close to that one. 20. What is your primary online site and why? There are 3 – Stars, because it was my first site (after Truepoker, which just blows) and there are always so many games going, Full Tilt, because there are always bloggers around, they are nice enough to sponsor this blog and the limit tables are incredibly beatable, and wherever I’m working off a bonus right now (Sun Poker for the moment). 21. What site do you dislike and why? Party. Have never been able to string together enough winning sessions to make it worthwhile. Also I don’t like the fact that your avatar changes depending on your seat, it confuses my widdle brain.
And hey, does anybody wanna play my seat in the Absolute freeroll this Saturday night? I've got a live game and can't be there.
1. What is the biggest mistake people make at a NL table? Pushing too much. I find a lot of people down at the depths of low limits where I play that are willing to push with 2nd pair, Top pair, bad kicker, things like that. It may stem from impatience, but the mistake is the overuse of the all-in move.2. What is the biggest mistake people make at a Limit table? The one I’m the most guilty of is the call “just one more bet” when I think/know I’m behind.3. Why do you play poker? I’m a competitive person, and poker allows me to blend a couple of my favorite things together, competitive endeavors and sitting on my fat ass. How can it get any better?4. If you weren't playing poker, what would you be doing? Producing more theatre, writing a lot less, having not even the hope of profitability, and playing more Neverwinter Nights.5. What is your favorite poker book and why? Harrington on Hold ‘Em opened my eyes to a lot of ideas about tournament poker, but I think overall Phil Gordon’s Little Green Book has been the most beneficial.6. Who is your favorite poker player and why? Gavin Smith, ‘cause he’s come out for bloggerdom’s current favorite charity so strongly. Barry Greenstein and Marcel Luske will always have a special place for me for taking time out of the WSOP last year to call Charlie Tuttle, Spaceman’s friend who was dying of cancer. That takes a special person, and being a good human being is far more important than pushing a pile of chips around.7. Which poker player do you dislike the most and why? I used to say the obvious answer of Phil Hellmuth, but that’s kinda changing too, for the same reasons that I like the other guys. I guess I’d say the donk that hit a 2-outer to fet me last weekend.8. Do your coworkers know about your blog? Some do, some play in my home game. Upper management does not. Let’s keep it that way. 9. What is the most you have won in a cash game or MTT (both live and online)? Live was the BBSOP win this January, around $400. Online I won a $5 MTT on Stars last year for about $1300. 10. What is the most you have lost in a cash game or in one day total (both live and online)? $300 in about 90 minutes at the IP last December. That hurt. I was losing 100 BB/hr. Nice.11. Who was your first poker blog read? Hdouble had a post linking a bunch of blogs, and that stayed bookmarked for a long time. Linda and Iggy were the first ones I read daily, and Iggy’s was the first (and I think only) one that I have gone back and read all the archives to.12. What satisfies you more, your aces holding up for a big pot or a bluff working for a big pot? The bluff. It’s easy to win with aces, it’s hard to push three lemurs off a pot at 2/4 limit with air.13. Why do you blog? I always wanted to be a writer, now I are one. It’s the same creative outlet that used to be fulfilled through theatre, now is fulfilled through writing, both here, and at Truckin’, and at Pokerworks.com. 14. Do you read blogs from an RSS reader like bloglines or do you visit each blog? It varies. Most of the blogs I read daily I go through bloglines, but then I usually follow links from those to other sites, or use Up for Poker as a secondary bloglines listing. 15. Would you rather play poker for a living than do what you currently do for a living? I don’t think so. I love playing poker, but I don’t think I’d love it if it were a job. I like my job a lot. It’s still a job, and sometimes is still a grind to get out of bed and come into the office, but I think a lot of my enjoyment of poker would be gone if it were my job.16. Do you wear a tin foil hat on occasion? Yes, but I’m not telling you where. And never at the same time as the kilt. 17. If you had to pin it down to one specific trait, what does a great poker player have (or do) that separates them from an average player? Mojo. It’s an undefinable trait, we frequently refer to it as “getting it,” and you can never explain what that means, but you can always tell who has it and who doesn’t. 18. Is Drizz the coolest person on the planet for naming his baby Vegas? Second only to myself, of course. 19. What is your primary poker goal and are you close to accomplishing it? Play a WSOP event, and I’m doing it in July. Also, to be able to supplement my income to a point where I can cash out frequently and spend that money on trips with the wifey, cool toys for the house, shiz like that. Not anywhere close to that one. 20. What is your primary online site and why? There are 3 – Stars, because it was my first site (after Truepoker, which just blows) and there are always so many games going, Full Tilt, because there are always bloggers around, they are nice enough to sponsor this blog and the limit tables are incredibly beatable, and wherever I’m working off a bonus right now (Sun Poker for the moment). 21. What site do you dislike and why? Party. Have never been able to string together enough winning sessions to make it worthwhile. Also I don’t like the fact that your avatar changes depending on your seat, it confuses my widdle brain.
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