Grob sucks at poker

Update - I'm shitty drunk and G-Rob just busted Daddy to win the whole friggin' thing. Good game G-Rob! Kicked my sorry arse,. Thank god for TruePoker ring games, those people are fuckin' stoooopid. I could probably play them drunk and be + EV, but we' not gonna risk it.

Thank god for spellcheck. Savior of drunken bloggers everywhere,.

Not really - but he did just crack my pocket kings with his pocket 3s. Course the other monkey who went all in preflop with AK sooted also woulda cracked my Kings, too, so there is that. But that was my trip from #6 in chips in the Wil Wheaton dot Net weekly tourney to busted in 40th place by the man with the best hair in poker - G-Rob!

So here I am minding my own business (yeah bullshit I know), when I get seated at the same table as Austin April and Daddy to start the whole thing. I'm skeert already, and it gets nothing but worse when the 860th greatest poker player in the world, Bobby Bracelet, sits down. But I manage to lemur myself into a decent position, top 10 or so in chips, when I bust out the guy next to me. Who should sit down, but the one, the only, the man, the myth, the legend, the friggin' chip leader - G-ROB!!!!

I'm 2nd in chips and Pokerstars decides that warrants sticking the chip leader on my right elbow. Oh, the humanity. So G-Rob proceeds to tear up the table as only he can, but we pretty much stay out of each other's way (except for him stealing my blinds more times than I felt was absolutely necessary), while knocking out a few other folks, including me inflicting an unfortunate suckout broadway straight on the river to bust some perfectly nice person with a Duke Blue Devils avatar whose name I don't recall.

The there is THE HAND. I look (blearily, as my 3rd Chat-A-Shot has passed, and I'm kinda buzzy by now) at my screen and see iTunes playing a CRUSHING Sam Bush show from Asheville this summer. Wait, that's now. No, I look down and see pocket Kings. Cowboys. Crush (to steal a phrase from Daddy, who had gotten a table change and made it back to witness this evil).

Some yo to G-Rbo's right raises 3xBB. He obviously hasn't gotten the memo. G-rob to my right goes all-in preflop. He's used this tactic a couple of times already and I figure nobody catches aces that often, so I call him. Yo calls u both. I turn up my cowboys, G-Rob turns up his 3s, and the yo turns up AK suited. I think "I'm so fucked. There's no way this holds up."

Flop - 4 3 Q

Turn - A

River - not a King

And I'm out in 40th, courtesy of G-Rob's 2-outer.

If he sucks at poker, then I'm a donkey-fucking lemur.

Waitaminit, maybe...

Here's the quote of the night, courtesy of (who else?) Daddy

never had intercourse with a monkey, but my cousing sucked of patrick ewing once.


Good game, G-Rob. Now bust the rest of these motherfuckers!