Returning the Favor and other Slices of Life

Returning the Favor
Returning the Favor
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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Return of the grievous degenerate

With apologies to Gram Parsons, of course. There's a valid question at the end, so skip ahead if you want.

I'm back in Charlotte-town after what seems like a month away, when in reality it was more like a week. I was back in Vegas, this time ostensibly for work, but at a trade show in the entertainment industry, that often equates to a fair amount of play. Not to be so this time, I was at the show or in meetings/dinners with manufacturers for 12-14 hours every day, leaving very little time for the pokering.

Suzy and I headed out a day early, in hopes of getting some festivities out of the way before the festivities began, as it were. We met up with CK and F-Train for lunch, and along for the ride was surprise guest brdweb, who was just finishing up some training for work. Or at least that was the claim. And he didn't look like he'd been rolled by a hooker, so I guess he was telling the truth. We dug in at the Pizza Palace at the IP, which at $5.50 for two slices and a soda, is the best lunch value on the strip, then wandered downstairs for some gambool. We lost a little at let it ride, then a little at craps, then found the douchebaggiest dealer in the world at a 3-Card Poker table (or maybe Suzy and I played 3-Card alone, and the d-bag was at Let it Ride, I can't remember). So after we lost a little there, decided to wander over to the Mirage to see the baby tigers.

Yeah, that was the idea, anyway. So we met up with John and Barry, two of my work buddies who had just gotten in and were starving since they were still rockin' the East Coast time and felt like it was dinner. We'd just eaten two hours earlier, but really, do you think I miss many meals? So we hung with them at Japonais at Mirage for a bit and managed to crush our way through $400 worth of sushi pretty easily.

If there's a cheap but good sushi joint in Vegas and you want to make an excursion there in December, lemme know.

So after that we ambled over to the poker room where F-Train and brdweb were playing 3/6 and CK took a seat in a 5/10 Omadraw game while Suzy and I got on a 3/6 list. We ended up getting seats, but then everyone else wandered off. We played for a little while until some asshat at the end of the table decided he didn't approve of all the "conversation" at our end of the table. You know, obviously out of hand things like my wife asking me "how much is it to me?" and "can I raise?" that kind of stuff. So since the old asshat made a stink about us talking, the dealer instructed Suzy to ask questions only to her (which is correct), but I still racked up as soon as Suzy felted the old fuck and he had to rebuy. So we took his money and left.

Now I realize that there are regulars that a casino has to cater to somewhat, and I don't have an issue with the dealer doing her job. My issue, and it's becoming more of one the more I play casino poker, is with the old fucks. Don't get me wrong, I like some older people, and I'm making a generalization here, but there's a bunch of nasty old fucks at a poker table. If you want proof that I like some old people, ask Jim, or better yet, Nate. He's older than Moses and I like him just fine.

But you get these old fucks who show up and buy in short, don't ever give any action, and shoot every fucking angle they can think of. I see a guy in WWII ball cap, and I assume I'm gonna see a slowroll at some point. These assclowns call you down with bottom pair, no kicker, and then bet out when they hit their second pair, but don't want to turn their hand over at showdown until after you table top pair and they know they're good, regardless of whether they're acting in turn or not. They'll fold out of turn, fake a bet and check, grab chips to fake a call to induce a check, fake a muck and bet, all kinds of rinky-dink asshattery that slows down the game, but they'll be the first to jump on you if you do something they don't approve of. Because they are the arbiter of the game, of course.

And they're not there to haver fun. They're not there to make money, because really, at the lowest limits, limit poker in a casino is pretty much unbeatable mathematically. They exist only to spread misery and bide their time until they die. So I'm at the point know where once an old fuck makes is oldfuckedness known to me at the table, I try to win one big pot off him, and then rack up. There's enough poker in the world without having to play with doucheballs.

Don't worry, there's plenty of young fucknuggets out there, too. And one of them was responsible for me tripling up my last session at the IP, but that's for another post.

So the valid question - if the Venetian was willing to host another tournament for us in December, how many of you would be willing to play? I sent an email this afternoon inquiring, despite my earlier protestations of not organizing anything. Our rooms are booked for the MGM, since there was a killer deal. I get in Thursday afternoon, and my wife and stoner sister are getting in late Thursday. So if anybody's holding, and would share, hook up with my sis on Friday or Saturday, she'd really appreciate it since she can't carry on the plane. And if you know what I mean, then I'm talking to you.


DrChako said...

Of course I'm in. Not holding, but always up for some pokery goodness.

Asshats. Gotta love 'em. Well, at least their $$.


Katitude said...

I'd be in for a tourney.

BWoP said...

Tourney = the one time that everyone seems to be at the same place at almost the same time doing almost the same thing . . . until they are not.

But . . . what time are the Gracie / Sweet Sweet nuptials?

If you need me to talk to one of the tourney directors at Venetian, I have his number in my phone. He was one of the guys who was overseeing the tourney last year.

on_thg said...


Astin said...

I'd be in for the tourney.

BigPirate said...

We went to a sushi place off strip on the WPBT Summer 2005 trip. I can't remember the name right off but there were a bunch of people there who might (Felicia, Speaker, Bill, Head and Mrs., Poker Prof, et al.) It was very good and reasonable I thought.

Mattazuma said...

I'm in for the tourney.

There is a good but not too expensive sushi place in the Caesar's Forum shops. Been there a couple times with Columbo.

Anonymous said...

I'm in for the tourney.

Interested in meeting your sister, but I'm not holding......

Schaubs said...

1. Japonais is the best!

2. I am in for the tourney, I think it is a must do when having a gathering like this.

3. Your sister needs to meet P.M.

yestbay said...

I'm in for the tourney, unless the buy-in is extravagant. Somewhere around last December's buy-in amount would be doable for me.

I'm not holding, as I don't like to be penalized.

Joe Speaker said...

I'm in for the tourney. Long as no old people get to play.

VinNay said...

In for tourney

Mary said...

I'm in for the tourney and I'm sure DawnSummers and Alceste will be too.

HighOnPoker said...

I'm in for the tourney, as I am also in for scrounging for some horticulture. Keep me in mind, people. It's not called High on Poker because I climb skyscrapers.

lj said...

not sure if i'm gonna make it that w/e, but if i do, def in for tournament.

Biggestron said...


If you build it, I will come.

peacecorn said...

Hell yes! If there's a tourney, SSP and I will get married in the Venetian poker room just before it starts!