Returning the Favor and other Slices of Life

Returning the Favor
Returning the Favor
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Grumpy bitch in the rain

After hiring a friend to do some demolition work in my kitchen in preparation for the arrival of my new stove, I took the afternoon off yesterday so that said stove could be delivered.

Yeah - I said demolition work.

One of the things that naive homebuyers don't realize about buying a 40 year old house is that the appliances, which are all original, are of a size that is no longer manufactured for the general public. So to replace the circa 1967 drop-in range and oven will require either a cash outlay of $1200 for the base model, or reconstruction of a significant portion of the kitchen.

Well, having friends that are marginally skilled at carpenterial efforts, and that are also willing to rip apart a kitchen for a couple hundred bucks came in handy, and Uncle Phil spent the better part of his Memorial Day beating the ever-loving hell out of my kitchen, all so that my stove could be delivered yesterday.

Yeah, about that.

So I took the afternoon off because Suzy had an orthodontist's appointment. Yes, my 38-year-old wife will be getting braces this summer. Thank god the WSOP is getting ready to start up, because I need the work to pay for her extractions and mandibular manipulations.

Yes, I know I'm not getting a blowjob for the next two years.

No, I'm not okay with that.

So I waited for the stove. The delivery was scheduled for between 2 and 6 PM. Knowing as I do the immutable laws of delivery guys, I knew that if i left the house at any point, he would arrive. And I also understood that if I stayed there through the proscribed period of time, it would be near the absolute end of the period before I heard from him.

He called at 5:50.

To tell us that he had loaded the wrong stove on the truck and the warehouse was closed. He promised to return this morning.

Between 6 and 7 AM.

All I do at 6AM is get up to pee. And go back to bed. Except this morning, when I dealt with the delivery guy. So I have a stove, not enough sleep, and a sour attitude.

And it's raining.

Have a nice day.

I need to be in Vegas. Regardless of the fact that I have a retarded friend who is seriously considering going to the state Republican convention rather than Vegas next week. I've been to a big Republican gathering. You might remember it, the party made the brilliant decision to put the re-election party for one of the most polarizing, inept and loathed presidents in history in one of the most liberal cities in the country. It was about 4 years ago. I was there, with all the big Republican brass and Secret Service agents.

I was paid to be there, I was performing It's a long story, and worth a beer.

Needless to say, there's no question where I'd be if given the choice between a Republican convention in a backwoods state like mine or Vegas. Hope T comes to her senses.


Anonymous said...

This retarded Republican is still thinking it over.....the Convention is a lot cheaper than Vegas, but just as much alcohol is involved!!!!!

Jim The Knife said...

Typical "T".... price dictates decisions.
She was right about one thing....
both season finals of "Bones" and "House" were fantastic..

StB said...

From what I have heard, Republican gatherings include a considerable amount of alcohol consumption, one that can rival Vegas.