What do you say when you drop 20% of your bankroll in one spiraling downward session?
Fuck fuck fuckety fuck. Fucking shit fuck motherfucking fuck.
That’s what I said. Fortunately I am still in the black for the month, I’ve had a good enough run the past two weeks to absorb this hit, but holy fucking ratfuck that sucked monstrous camel ass. Just to be perfectly clear, I’m less than thrilled with my play tonight.
I won’t even try to foist my losses off on bad beats. Sure I ran Queens into Kings, and Jacks into Aces, but I did almost every single thing wrong in the poker world. I played while I was distracted. I played while I was surfing the interweb. I played above my bankroll. I jumped up in levels chasing losses. I played games that I’m not good at when I’m already tilted. You name a poker sin, I committed it tonight. The only thing I think I didn’t do was wipe my ass with a picture of Doyle Brunson and masturbate onto a glossy headshot of Clonie Gowen.
Hmmm. I’ll be right back.
The only thing I didn’t do was wipe my ass with a picture of Doyle Brunson.
So what does losing $600 in one night of stupidity mean in the real world? Nothing. It means that I’m a little nauseous right now, but it doesn’t mean that the power bill won’t get paid or that the mortgage isn’t going to get paid. It doesn’t mean we won’t eat this week. It means that my idea of taking out profits from my poker play for fun toys like a new digital camera will have to wait, but that’s about it. I don’t even really have to take a step down in limits. I’m sitting around $2500, which is pretty sufficient to play 2/4 and 3/6, as long as I don’t go nutso and try to do a whole bunch of 3/6 tables. I was thinking that being sufficiently bankrolled for 5/10 was within my grasp a whole lot sooner than the end of the year, which had been my goal. But now it’s a little further away. No great loss there, either.
I’m still fairly confident in my abilities as a poker player, but sometimes I do stupid shit. Tonight was a very painful sometimes. But I’m not broke, my real life money is not affected, and I can still get in the game tomorrow if I choose. I think not so much, but who knows? I’ll probably step away from the keyboard for a day or so, play live on Friday and Saturday, then start anew next week. And I’d like to thanks the kindness of my blog sponsors for giving me money to throw away to other people so that I can still think of it as “found money” and not strangle my cat when I have nights like this. My cat thanks you as well.