Returning the Favor and other Slices of Life

Returning the Favor
Returning the Favor
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Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Epiphany

So I've come to realize something over the past month, as I've racked up losses that almost erase my entire winnings for the year. I'm a losing online poker player, a winning live poker player, and a profitable poker writer. That's kinda funny in a way, since to people with more patience than I have internet poker is almost like an ATM, you insert time and withdraw money.

Not me. I can string together 2-3 days of winning internet poker, then piss it all away in a frenzy of redonkulous play.

Other realization - I don't really care.

I have a job, one that pays me well and is fulfilling. I enjoy the writing that I do about poker and am constantly amazed that there are people who are willing to give me money for it, and more amazed that there are people who read it. And I love playing cards with people. Real, flesh and blood people that I can look at, lie to, and get a vibe off of. Online poker to me has become a time-killer more than a really enjoyable pastime, and it's pretty heavily reflected in my results. Yes, I know most of my losses this month were live in Vegas, but were I a good internet player, it would not have taken me much time to recoup $900 online. But I'm not, and I'm okay with that.

So I've cashed out a chunk of my bankroll to rebuild my withered live roll, and left myself with about $500 online, about a third of my roll. That gives me enough on Full Tilt and Stars to get into the games I want to play with just enough risk of ruin to make it interesting, because frankly, if there's no chance of going broke, I'm not interested. I play cards for fun and profit, but not to create a real job for myself. So I'm not spending a ton of time "building a bankroll" anymore. As long as I've gota grand or so floating around that I can piss off to Vegas with, I'm good. I don't need to be sufficiently bankrolled, because I can just pick up more side work and earn a new roll in a couple of months.

There are enough people who stop by here to keep my few sponsors happy, and I do enough work for Pokerworks to keep myself in the games I want to play, and right now that's enough for me. I'm never gonna "go pro," or even semi-pro, but I'll take the occassional shot at a bigger tourney to see how it goes, and concentrate on having fun at the game, more than eking out every BB/hr I can squeeze. I still want to play well and get better, but my results focus is shifting a little, I suppose. I don't really care how much I've got in my bankroll, as long as it's enough to sit down with at the table and play.

It's time to have fun again.

2 comments:

brdweb said...

Very much the attitude that I now have. I realized that in ring games online I just end up not playing as well as I do live. So I stick to MTTs online, mostly waiting for my bigger scores. I back this up with some trips to AC for my live play but don't really worry about keeping a 'roll'. I know when to stop if I'm losing and can just say no until I have enough extra cash around to throw away :)

Mondogarage said...

Good philosphy, brdweb...I've been reaching the same conclusions myself the last week or so. My win rate in MTTs has been far better than ring games, for the most part, and (at least for me), they are more *fun*. Poker's not rent money, and absent a huge once in a lifetime score, it's not going to change my life. So it's time to quit sweating it, and just play the tourneys, even if that means possibly reloading more often...