1) Learn Pai Gow. Or at least yell "Pai GOW!" a bunch. I think I may have been taught this game at some point, but I was drunk'd. I'll be drunk'd this weekend too, so we'll give it another shot.
2) Pokerworks.com Family Portrait - with the addition of Iggy to Pokerworks, almost everyone who writes for that little corner of the interweb will be together at one time, so we should do a christmas card picture.
3) Get Maudie to say "fuck" enough times to get another verbal warning at the IP poker room.
4) Get my wife to go shot for shot with Maudie. She won't do tequila, but she'll knock back some lemon drops.
5) Get Drizz to do karaoke in the sports book bar at the IP. I think it's only fair that if there are people actually sitting in a karaoke bar in LAS FRIGGIN' VEGAS, then they need to be punished by a rum-soaked deaf guy from Minnesota belting out "My Way" in a fashion that could be considered a perfect complement to waterboarding. Bonus points if we can get Al and Pauly to do the Electric Slide. Triple word score if they do the Electric Slide WHILE Drizz sings Sinatra.
6) Get a blogger (not Change100, that's so 2005) thrown out of a casino for public intoxication. Depending on the level of challenge I'm willing to undertake, I'm either going for F-Train (easy), Kat (challenging) or Karol (that would be impressive).
7) Convince a random female blogger to give Joe Speaker a lapdance. There's no real challenge there, let's make it tougher. Hmmm...convince ALL the female bloggers in attendance to give Speaker a lapdance. At a poker table. In quick succession. Bonus points for Mrs. Drizz, Mrs. Head and my wife. Double-plus bonus points for The Rooster, Chilly, or THG.
8) Witness The Fall #2 - revenge of the TrumpJosh. Somebody at some point is gonna bust their ass in a drunken stupor this weekend. My goal here is twofold - first, to not be that somebody. Second, to witness it with camera in hand.
Those are just a few of my goals for the weekend. Others include all the sappy shit that will happen anyway, like catching up with old friends, making new ones, dial-a-shots with the poor bastards who can't be there, and general bloggery goodness.
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7 comments:
Solution to Goal #1:
Step 1: Read up on the rules.
Step 2: Go play a Flash version of the game to practice strategy without losing money.
Step 3: Play Pai Gow with Otis. There is no other way to get the full Pai Gow experience.
As I was reading your post I was concerned that a dial-a-shot with yours truly had been dropped from one of your "goals", but in true degenerate blogger form, you finished up the post very strong by keeping me in the mix. That's Strong to Quite Strong Falstaff.
Tip of the cap to you Sir.
Oh...and I almost forgot my goals:
1) Go buy more liquor since I used up my stash this weekend.
2) Keep cell phone readily available.
3) Try to avoid dial-a-shots during KidJax's birthday party. "Yes son, I realize it is time to blow out the candles, but when the phone starts a ringin', I start a drinkin'."
#1 is easy just find a couple of bloggers and we'll take over a table. The key is the timing of the table to yell PAI GOW (which is basically the dealer getting a non-paired, non-straight, non-flushed hand) at the same time.
#5 h-e-l-l n-o, my voice cracked after 8th grade choir and never came back, people will wish they had my semi-deafness
Depending on the level of challenge I'm willing to undertake, I'm either going for F-Train (easy), Kat (challenging) or Karol (that would be impressive).
I think you've got your difficulty levels all messed up. They should be:
Karol (laughably easy)
Kat (not impossible)
F-Train (wouldn't happen even if alcohol fell from the sky like rain)
Bonne chance!
Hahaha, looking forward to the challenge. :-)
too damn funny.
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