Play the player

And I got played. Perfectly.

I'm sitting at a 1/2 NL table last night, with about $250 in front of me (I bought in for $230 and had been riding a roller coaster for an hour or so). I'd been playing a fairly standard TAG game, because the table was looser than a West Viriginia girl on prom night. I'd had my QQ snapped off a few hands earlier by a guy cold-calling a $38 preflop raise with Kd4d, and had see the Crazy Asian Guy (CAG) in the 3 seat calle $25 preflop with a 64o a few hands before.

CAG raised to $12 preflop, which meant that he was breathing. He never limped, unless the pot was straddled, and $12 was his standard raise. He was the person on the table that I had the most trouble putting on a hand, as his range pretty much encompassed any two cards. I looked down at A10o and called.

Flop comes A-8-6 rainbow, and I called CAG's $15 bet. Turn is a King, and I check behind CAG. River is a Queen, and CAG bets out $100. I think for a long time before I make the bad call, remembering the massive number of hands I'd seen CAG show down, including the 6-4o hand, so I thought that a K or Q was quite possible.

I didn't expect the Aces. He's flopped top set, read me for a decent Ace when I called the flop bet, and put me on two pair when running paint cards fell. He played me perfectly, and I can't fault him a bit for that hand.

Now the next one seems a bit stupid, on the part of so many people, myself included. It's one or two hands later, and I'm now sitting with about $60 in front of me, wanting to hang out for a few minutes before I rebought or stood up. CAG raises to $12, guy between us reraised to $22, and I thought this might be a good place to try and steal.

BAD DECISION. Why I would even think about stealing from the two loosest, deepest-stacked players at the table is beyond me, but it is the worst decision I made at the poker table all night. My backup thought was that even if they called, my cards were likely to be live, and it was close to time for bed, anyway. Not sure that I've ever had a more sub-optimal series of thoughts at a poker table before shore $58 into the pot with QTo in early position. But think it I did, and shove I did.

Short stack in late position calls all-in, creating side pot #1. CAG calls, and then donkey in the 4s, original re-raiser (ORR), re-re-raises another $50, and CAG calls.

BAD DECISION (not mine) - $50 was way too small a raise to isolate the CAG. CAG still had to call $50, but there was $250 in the pot, and 5:1 plus implied odds of the $300+ was well within CAG's calling odds.

Flop comes 2-3-4 rainbow, and CAG says "All-in." ORR looks at him like a poleaxed steer, tried in vain to put CAG on a hand (I was also incorrect, but I put him on 44), and makes the call. CAG spikes his cads like it's a football and starts doing his flopped the nut straight end zone dance.

Yup, CAG called over $100 preflop with 6-5o and flopped the world. ORR turned over his Jacks, and I threw away my QT, got my shit, and went to the one Pai Gow table for some consolation. A sick catch, but actually much better than calling a $38 raise with K4s and catching the King. I didn't really expect to win, but ORR looked like he'd just been kicked in the balls by a mule, so I at least got a little schadenfrude outta the deal.

And that's how you go from +$250 on the weekend to -$135 on the weekend in a few short steps.

Step 1 - put your dick in a box (Or play the nightly tournament and run 88 into JJ)

Step 2 - Play 2-4 Limit

Step 3 - Get played like a fiddle by the CAG with Aces

Step 4 - Make a donkey-shove with QT

Step 5 - Lose $20 playing Pai Gow

Pretty casino though, especially for buttfuck nowhere.