Waffles Poker

Poker: Pronunciation: 'pO-k&rFunction: nounEtymology: probably modification of French poque, a card game similar to poker: any of several card games in which a player bets that the value of his or her hand is greater than that of the hands held by others, in which each subsequent player must either equal or raise the bet or drop out, and in which the player holding the highest hand at the end of the betting wins the pot

Waffles Poker: Pronunciation: tilt-ma-cheen
Function: noun
Etymology: Right here, baby!
: The style of internet poker involving playing otherwise silly hands in late position in multi-way pots against opponents that you have a solid read on, being willing to fold immediately if you don’t connect on the flop, but punishing your opponents by introducing their heads to the felt unimpeded by the presence of any chips if you hit the flop. Often results in asterisks in chat boxes or creative spellings of “you suck” and “dumbass” when you stack more than one opponent in this fashion. Not recommended for live play in private cardrooms on the fringes of swamps or places where it would otherwise be difficult to find your remains.

So as I’m tilting my way through a couple of suckouts last night, building my loss for the night up to about 80 bucks before halting my skid, I decide “I’m on uber-tilt, we’ll play this last hand, sit out for a beer and a poop, then come back all refreshed.” So I’m dealt 79o in the cutoff and I think to myself “self, what would Waffles do?” See, I’ve been reading about Waffles’ success playing unorthodox starting hands, and since my Hiltons had been kicking me like a farmer kicking a swayback plowhorse, getting cracked 3 times in less than an hour, and my American Airlines behaving more like TWA flight 800, I took a flyer at the 79. I raised 3xBB with my shite, and decided to see what happened.

Three players came along for the ride, the BB and two MP limpers. Flop of J85 rainbow, and I look over at Suzy and say “If I hit this, honey, I’m gonna hurt somebody’s feelings with this garbage.” Checked around on the flop and everybody calls my $2 continuation bet. Yep, my 10 turns, and I look back over the shoulder “This is gonna get ugly, honey, just watch.” BB bets a couple bucks, 2 callers, then I raise pretty strongly. The 10 was sooted with the 8, so I didn’t want to keep it cheap anymore. I wanted to be the only successful drawing donkey in the hand. I get my two callers, and I prepare for the river push. I don’t remember what the river was, but it was checked to me, I push and get one caller. The tirades started almost before the chips had moved across the virtual felt, so BB must have been typing as soon as he clicked the Call button. I’m now the biggest fish he’s ever seen, the worst player on RiverStars (regardless of the fact that I turned the straight, not rivered it), and generally a big donkey.

Heh. Waffles poker = fun. Playing this style of chase/punish position power poker  is kinda like dating the chick that throws shotput for the high school track team – not for the faint of heart, but a fuckton of fun after a couple of beers. I’ll probably try to incorporate a little more of this into my style, as long as I can remember to wait until the right moments to try it.