Music > Poker - this is important

If you're anywhere near Charlotte on July 20th, come help me stay out of jail!

My favorite band of 2007, Reckless Kelly, is coming to town for the first time since I've started listening to them, and I plan to get, as my sister says "To' up from the flo' up." These guys put out some killer jams, with Texas twang and great storytelling, and I plan to raise enough hell to put myself in the kind care of the great state of North Carolina for some number of months, and am counting on you, my loyal readers, to come keep me out of jail. After all, there's no wi-fi with the communal soap, so if you wanna keep reading my drivel, come throw down with the hillbilly and keep me from getting arrested.

"But Johnny," I hear you say (if you are on the short list approved to refer to me as Johnny, and if you have to wonder whether you're on the list or not, you're not), "don't you have a production of the greatest play in the history of the english language that night?"

"And aren't you also performing in the aforementioned GPITHOTEL?"

Way ahead of you, my chilluns. I am indeed playing the ghost of Hamlet's father in the GPITHOTEL, but he only appears in one scene in this production, Act I, Scene 4.

"But doesn't the ghost come back in Act IV?" you ask.

Well, sometimes, but let's face it, the fucking play is over four hours long if you do the whole thing, and it doesn't really get you anything to bring the ghost back (in this particular interpretation), so I cut that bit.

"But how are you going to make it to the concert if you're onstage at 8PM?"

The production is performed in street clothes, the theatre is 15 minutes away from the concert, and RK takes the stage shortly after 9PM. 'Nuff said? I thought so. So when you go the website to see what the everloving fuck I'm so excited about, I heartily recommend tracks like "Break my Heart tonight," "Crazy Eddie's Last Hurrah," and "Wiggles and Ritalin."

OK, if you suck too much to come to Charlotte, check them out somewhere close. I can't wait.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!! Call now, and we'll throw in a Sam Bush concert next weekend for only $20! Yeppers, Slammin' Sammy, the only Bush worth voting for, Jethro Beck himself, is coming to Charlotte next Saturday night. So come on up and hang with me there, too! If you've never seen Sammy live, then what in the name of all that is holy is wrong with you?

I have been known to get a little inebriated at Sam Bush concerts, too, so anyone willing to post my bail is more than welcome to join me for these festivities as well.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program of me sucking at poker. But to read about people who suck less than me at poker (well, some of them at least), click over to PokerNews and follow my morning recaps of the Main Event.